Good Times

A trip to Mexico with my wife and a visit from my best friend; life has been good as of late.

We were really too lazy to try and take pictures; so here is a picture I took of some palm trees on our last morning.


Scott thought the glacier water was really cold; what a baby.


I tried five times to take this picture, but guess who kept messing it up?!


So I made Scott go to timeout.


My favorite people.

Help start a business in the developing world

So my friend Josh here in Seattle told me about this organization. Check it out.

Waiting for Messiah

As many of you have heard, Kate and I are headed to Mexico in the coming days for some much needed rest and relaxation. I do not think I have ever so greatly anticipated a vacation. We have been married for almost three years now. And in one sense it feels like we have been on the move since we said our vows. Three moves, several different jobs, three different schools for me, and many miles traveled in between. And as my second trimester at MHGS has come to an end, I find myself weary. Thus I am looking forward to long days spent basking under the Mexican sun with nothing to do.

We all have things that we look forward to: Reunions, homecomings, trips, quiet walks in the woods, a home cooked meal, a good cup of coffee in the morning, a lovers embrace before falling asleep. These longings, desires, anticipations, sometimes even groanings, have caused me to think on a greater scale of late.

Our lives, our homes, our communities, our churches, our jobs, our countries, our economies, our world, are continually touched with disappointments, mistakes, abuse, violence, anguish, and futility. Nothing is ever stable, nothing is immutable. Our laughter can turn to anguish in the time it takes to read an email, or chat on the phone, or read the news.

In response to this, we strive incessantly for security and stability. We fill our minds with ideologies and structure our lives into foolproof patterns, so that we might escape unharmed by the tragedy that lurks around every corner. Our beliefs and our social structures so often turn into illusions in the end. They fail us.

So we find ourselves waiting, groaning, longing. When will justice come? When will the wars stop? When will everyone have food? When will our brokenness be restored? When will Messiah come?

So the next time we find ourselves longing for a friend, a meal, a lover, a day of rest, let us stop, and let us dig deep into that desire; let it churn inside of us. Let us not cover it up with false security, ideological illusions, self-contempt, or shame; but rather let it help us imagine the raging desires of our God; our God the redeemer of all things. Our God who gives rest to the weary.

Where did you eat lunch today?

My dad was in town this weekend for a visit. Kate and I showed him around the city yesterday. And today he and I headed out into the wilderness (We left Kate behind so we wouldn't be attacked by bees). We hiked in the Alpine Lakes Wilderness area. This is where we stopped for lunch. A little over 4000 feet up, we are looking out over Lake Olallie. The mountains are still covered in snow, so most of our hike was walking on top of 4-7 feet of it. It was a beautiful day and I will never forget this lunch break.

When Messiah Comes...

Yahweh! Have you forgotten us?
Are you blind? Do you not see what is happening?
Our land has been taken, our homes have been destroyed.
The sustenance of your earth is sold for profiit by the rich.
Our enemies pursuit has left us exhausted.
We become their whores in order to recieve their food.
Joy is a stranger, dance has been forgotten.
The wine has run out, the bread has gone stale.

But Yahweh, we thought you did not change?
We thought your rule was unending?
We must have been mistaken.
For you have forgotten us; you have abandoned us.
We demand restoration, we demand the return of your joy.
When will you come?*

*My own paraphrase of Lamentations 5 in response to some tragic news from a friend.

Nasty Cold, Home Movies, and Resurrection

So I am on day six of an extremely nasty cold. I went to the doctor yesterday and received some antibiotics, so hopefully I will be able to engage the world again in a few more days. So in my incapacitated state I have had the opportunity to watch a few movies: Blood Diamond, Children of Men and Stranger Than Fiction. All great movies, and I highly recommend them.

Tomorrow is Easter, the day of our Lord's resurrection. Being that I have been on my couch all week, I have not been able to participate in any Holy Week activities, nor will I make it to service tomorrow.

With that said, I have found the theme of death and resurrection quite apparent in these three movies that I have watched. In each of these films the main character is confronted with the futility of life.

In Blood Diamond, we are taught the phrase TIA, This is Africa. War, death, evil, and horrific suffering are just the way it is, so like Leonardo's character we should just try and get what we can, no matter what we destroy in the process.

In Children of Men, the people of the world can no longer bare children. Infertility is a metaphor to the human race giving up hope and accepting our doomed fate that life is going to come to a horrific end and there is nothing we can do about it.

Stranger Than Fiction, a lighter story for sure, dives into the same themes. Harold Crick lives a mundane and fruitless life. Throughout the story though, he begins to break out of his cyclical patterns of futility by embracing the life that he has.

Each of these stories end with the main characters loosing their lives (in reality or metaphorically), so that they and the people around them can find life.

War in Africa, the devouring appetite of global capitalism, or the monotony of the nine to five work week can and often do convince us of the futility of everything. And yet we continue to tell stories of resurrection, of new birth, of life. We repeat them with the hope, that in the re-telling of these stories of life, we will know and experience resurrection even in the midst of our daily tastes of death.

Christ the Lord is Risen.

What every Barista has thought about saying...

If you are a barista, and you have had a day full of spilt coffee and ridiculous customers, this* might make you laugh.

*Look for post titled: Starbucks barista: We're not your friends (but your tips are appreciated)
**There is some explicit language in this post.
***Views expressed in this outside post, not neccesarily the views of this barista.

St. Patrick's Day Reflections

Now in reality, I am much more Scottish and British than I am Irish (though recent genealogical research suggests they are genetically the same), Kate and I took the opportunity to throw a St. Patrick's day party at our place last night. We drank what the Irish drink, but we served chili for dinner (who really wants to eat Irish food).

Anyway, in the process of preparing for the party, I typed up some Irish quotes to display throughout our apartment. Here are a couple that I enjoyed:

"Ireland was born on a storm-swept rock and hates the soft growth of sun baked lands where there is no frost in men's bones." -Liam O'Flaherty (Irish Novelist)

"A lament in one ear, maybe, but always a song in the other." -Sean O'Casey (Irish dramatist and memorist)

Now, like I said, I am more of a Scott, than an Irishmen, but I think the same could be said for the land and people of Scotland. It is a harsh place, that has a created a tenacious, hardworking, frugal people, with dry humor and warm hearts. For evidence listen to Irish or Scottish folk music, and its American counterparts.

If you listen to the spirit of the music (or the culture) there is a sense that there is a darkness, a harshness to life. But as a stubborn and proud people, they refuse to bow to the unceasing rain of turmoil that this world can bring. Instead they choose to mock it with biting sarcasm, and insatiable laughter. (I.e. In Braveheart, William Wallace and his men, turning their arses towards the British infantry).

Not a bad way to stand against the cruelty of the world that we live in (at least once in a while).

A Little Retreat on the Hood Canal

Student Loans

How about this idea for paying off our Mars Hill debt a little faster?

Is your Starbucks watered down?

Check out a memo from the Chairman of Starbucks, Howard Schultz. He is addressing the "watering down of the Starbucks experience."

I just hope this doesn't translate into me doing more work :-)!

Power, Difference and Community

One of the classes I am taking this semester is called Essential Community. The purpose of the class is to consider core relational categories that must be engaged to become a community. Our main text for the class is Miroslav Volf's book Exclusion and Embrace.

Yesterday in class we had four guests come visit with us. They sat in on our discussion groups as we worked through different case studies of conflict. Our visitors included an Eastern Orthodox Christian, an African American who pastors an inner city church, an Asian woman, and a Fuller Seminary graduate who works for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, he is a Christian and he also self identifies as a homosexual. It was a valuable experience as we conversed together as a class and with our guests.

The general consensus of the class is that we all desire community. And to a certain extent we desire to have community with people that are different than ourselves. We have hope that love, humility, and open and frank conversation can tear down walls of division and ignorance and bring about community. One of the things that was apparent was that (to use the example of dining together) to dine with each other at the table, everyone needs to be able to have a voice. Everyone should be able to say who they are, what they think and feel, and what their desires are. If there are voices at the table that are silent, then violence is taking place, and people are being excluded.

It is easy for me as an educated white male to come to the table. (At least at a place like Mars Hill Graduate School, and in most church settings, especially Evangelical churches.) To a certain extent I do not fear offering my voice at the table. I believe that I will be taken seriously to a certain degree.

So again it is easy for me to say, "Everyone should have a voice." The problem is, is that in reality not every one's voice has equal power. At the table there could be people who are in decision making positions. There could be people at the table who have been victimized, marginalized, and suppressed. So how does the dinner continue with some people having more power than others? Will those with the more powerful voices ultimately silence people at the table? Will the less powerful have to sacrifice who they are to stay at the table? Will the less powerful have to leave the table and sit at another table?

Yesterday we experienced an example of this. At the end of our time together our four guests gathered around a table together to talk about their experiences of our class and of each other. It became apparent that the African American pastor (Joe)and the man who works for the Gates Foundation (Ron) disagreed on some things. Now the powerful and the powerless is not clear in this example (as it is in most examples). But within the church Joe sits in a place of power, he is a pastor. I do not know Ron's entire story, but it seemed like at one time he wanted to be a pastor, but he in his denomination he is not allowed. Could our four guests remain at the table together? Could Ron remain at the table with Joe and continue to be true to who Ron is? Could Joe remain at the table with Ron and continue to be who Joe is? Is that even a violent modern dichotomy that continues the myth of the isolated individual that leads to genocidal violence? These are the questions I walked away with last night.

Is community with people of significant difference possible? There is very little in our experience that tells us that it is possible. Walls are built on borders, new churches are built everyday, genocidal wars continue to be waged.

I guess what I am saying is that power needs to be addressed and discussed. Difference is not going away. Our time on earth will continue to be marked with people of different religions, ethnicity, sexuality, socio-economic status, etc... The power that these different groups have will sway.

So my initial thoughts on power:

One, power must be recognized. It is naive and it can be terribly abusive to not acknowledge the power one has.

Two, power is not going away.

Three, I think (I could be wrong) power prevents community more than difference.

Four, What does Jesus have to say concerning power? Jesus actively (not passively) submitted himself to power to overcome it. (I say this with the utmost sensitivity to people who find themselves in abusive relationships. For instance Jesus does not encourage women to submit themselves to spousal abuse.)

Five, continuing off of point four, in a post a long time back, I suggested that the role of the church is to not be in charge. How does a pacifist vision of church speak to power?

Six, what might it look like for "the ones not in charge" at the table to remain at the table? Could they do it in a way that is not self-destructing? Could they do it in a way that would humble the powerful? That is the foolishness of the cross isn't it? The greatest among us, is the servant of all.

Surprise!!!!

So last Thursday I turned 25. Due to our hectic schedules the celebration was postponed till last night (though Kate did make me dinner on my birthday). The plan was to meet some friends at a bar and then head back to our place for some cake.

So yesterday at around four I went with my friend Steve to cash in on my birthday present. Kate had bought me a traditional hot lather shave. I have always said one of the things that I would do if I ever had money would be to indulge in a straight edge shave every once in awhile. So it was a nice treat. So as Steve and I were leaving the place to go to Pesos, Kate called me and told me she forgot her ID so I would need to stop by our apartment and pick it up. Kate can be a little forgetful sometimes, so that really didn't seem odd. So Steve dropped me off and I ran in to grab the ID. I opened the door to quite the surprise, all of our friends, streamers, etc... It was quite a treat.

Kate had been planning this for weeks and I hadn't suspected a thing. She even had six Girodano's deep dish pizzas flown in for my eating pleasure (I shared a few slices with our friends). We ate, drank, and we were merry. It was such a good day for me. Thanks to my wife Kate for throwing me such a celebration, and thanks to all our friends who came and partook. All of you are such a blessing to me. Thanks again.

Hopes, Dreams and Disapointments

Here in America the ideology of progress runs deep through our veins (at least from my middle to upper class veins). It is ingrained in our culture that whatever we put our hands to it can be made better, more efficient, and ultimately will better the entire world. Obviously much can be said about what type of progress has been made in our society and world. But for my blogging purposes it is sufficient to state that as Americans we are trained to believe in progress.

My question is how does that mindset line up with the Gospel? Did Jesus come to bring progress? And if he did, to what extent?

I study at MHGS, and many of us here have come to re-imagine what the gospel is in our present context. Many of us who come from an evangelical background have found that the evangelical goals: preach the gospel, win converts, build churches fails to encompass the totality of the gospel (that of course is a horribly generalized description of evangelicalism, I recognize that, but also recognize that there is certain measure of truth in it). My evangelical dreams died when I returned from my second trip to Africa. My mind and body broke under the weight of the responsibility of "reaching the world for Jesus."

You see I grew up in the age of the youth rally. A context where the American ideology of progress was fused with the Christian call to mission. I was told that my generation would be the one to reach the world for Christ. So myself like so many other young people went to foreign lands to share our good news. We came home (and I say we, because I am not the only one who has been deconstructed by overseas mission) changed, confused, and to a certain extent disappointed. There are too many "who haven't heard." There is such immense suffering?! Is God good? Is there even a God? Have I just participated in the Americanization of the world? Have I participated in the destruction of local cultures in the name of my American God of progress?

So then, where do I find myself now. What is Christian mission? What is the gospel? If we fail in our mission and if we preach the wrong gospel is the world doomed? Is heaven the reward for getting it right (I guess we don't have to worry, we are the saved?!)?

I have come to believe that approaching mission and gospel is not about determining who is in and who is out. Christian mission is not about riding around in a life-raft pulling in whoever you can.

God in Christ has eternally committed Godself to the world and to humanity. God became human, forever signifying God's solidarity with us. God has forever put to rest the question of who is in and who is out.

So what is Christian mission: committing ourselves to the world and to humanity. But we do it from a different vantage point than God. God had to put on flesh to establish solidarity with humanity. As humans we are already in solidarity with all humanity. God is the other, not our neighbor.

So we do as Christ did, we offer our lives to our neighbor. Are we promised social progress if we do so? Are we promised that we will establish peace on earth? We are not. Miroslav Volf, in Exclusion and Embrace, refers to this as the scandal of the Gospel. He writes, "The ultimate scandal of the cross is the all too frequent failure of self donation to bear positive fruit" (26). I.e. when you turn your other cheek, most often you will be struck again. But he continues on, and what he writes next I think is the heart of the gospel (he is speaking of the experience of the disciples),

"Precisely in the scandal, they have discovered a promise. In serving and giving themselves for others, in lamenting and protesting before the dark face of God, they found themselves in the company of the Crucified. In his empty tomb they saw proof that the cry of desperation will turn into a song of joy and that the face of God will eventually 'shine' upon a redeemed world" (27).

The experience of the gospel is to find oneself in the company of the crucified. To pour out love and grace and be returned with violence. And yet to have the audacity to hope that God will eventually shine upon a redeemed world.

A Few Good Things...

Number One: This is an obvious one, the Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl!

Number Two: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have entered the race for the democratic presidential nomination. I know African Americans have run before, and I am sure that there have been women, but in the past they have not actually had a chance to win. I hope that people of all political persuasions can recognize this as a good thing. In our land of liberty racism and sexism continues to exist, but maybe Barack and Hillary are evidence that some things are changing. It can also be noted that the governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson, is also expected to announce his candidacy, he is Hispanic.

Number Three: Seattle opened up a new park today. It is a ten minute walk from our apartment, and only a couple of blocks from school. It is called the Olympic Sculpture Park. I walked down there this afternoon to check out the opening festivities. It provides downtown Seattle with access to the waterfront, and adds some much needed green space, as well as some cool sculpturific type artsy stuff. Coming from Chicago, a city that has done wonders with its waterfront, I am sometimes let down by Seattle, but this park is a beautiful addition. I took a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

The red building is Mars Hill Graduate School.

Number Four: School starts for me tommorow and I will be walking there. No more commute to Bothell!

Number Five: I might be transfered to a Starbucks that is a block away from school. Thus meaning I can walk there as well.

And what about you, what are some good things that you know of?

Goodbye and Hello

Last week Kate and I were in Chicago for the holidays. It was an enjoyable week of catching up with family and friends. I am sure that to a certain extent Chicago will always feel like home. But as I boarded the plane to return to Seattle I felt like I was saying goodbye. Goodbye to my childhood home, goodbye to the family that raised me, goodbye to the friends who I enjoyed, and sadly goodbye to sweet glorious deep dish pizza (the pizza in Seattle is tragically sad). Most likely, Kate and I will not return again for another year. That will mark the longest time that we will have been away. The tone of my goodbye is not triumphant nor despondent. It is somber, meaningful. This is a significant goodbye.

I feel as though I am entering a new period of my life. I am struggling to put into words what I mean, this all sounds quite melodramatic, but for the past four years I have felt quite confused and dissilusioned about life, faith, God, ect... And for the most part I still do, but I am finding that a journey of faith is always marked with confusion and doubt. Faith unaccompanied by doubt is more likely an illusion or an ideaology.

Kate and I bought a large picture the other day to hang in our office. We were not looking for a picture, but as I was walking through the store I saw it and it immediately struck me. I am the last person to buy something impulsively, but I felt like this picture would be meaningful to me. It is a picture of a road, lined with trees. As you look at the picture the road grabs your eyes and leads you far off into the distance.

In my life I haven't felt like I have been on a path for some time now. It has more often felt like my experience of Mt. Mulunje in Malawi, Africa where I found myself lost and stranded hacking through brush and climbing up cliffs. But more and more I have begun to see a road rise up before me. I do not know where this road will take me, or how long it will last, but as an exhausted journeyman I am thankful for a path.

Not the actual picture hanging in our office

The semester is over!

Well my first semester at Mars Hill has come to an end. These last months have been a blur. Kate and I moved into our apartment the day before school started and life has been in constant motion since then with school and work. But what a good semester it has been. A few notable events in the recent past:

Kate and I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner at our place. In total there were 15 of us in our little apartment. Everyone brought fantastic food. Kate and I felt so blessed by all the people who came. They have invited us into their community here in Uptown and made us feel so welcome.

MHGS celebrated its annual Christmas party at our new building in Belltown. Our time in Bothell is officially over! The new building is incredible. It is feet from the Puget Sound, it has panoramic views of the Olympic Mountains and Mt. Rainer. Yeah, it is nice. But anyway, the annual Christmas party always entails a dance party. I found it quite funny that I found myself sharing the dance floor with our school's Theology professor while Justin Timberlake's "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" is thumping from the speakers. Only at a Seminary like Mars Hill.

Also, a giant storm hit the area Thursday night. Kate and I lost power around 2 am Friday morning. We were fortunate though, our power came back on Friday afternoon around 3 pm. Thousands are still without power.

And yesterday, now that I have some free time I finally made it out into the wilderness. I took a a guy from work (along with his three dogs) and we hiked out to some water falls in the foothills of the Cascades. It was spectacular. It felt so good to get out of the city for a little and walk among the snow capped peaks.

Anyway, I am far too mentally spent to offer anything profound or thought provoking so you will just have to deal with this summary of events. Thanks for reading.

Snow Day!

One of the advantages of living is Seattle (if you are a student and you are already safely at home) is the city's completely lack of ability to deal with snow. Case in point: Monday night I was up in Bothell attending class, a snow storm hit while class was in session. It took me one hour and forty five minutes to travel the one mile between the off site class site to the main campus. It was insane! Class got out at 5:30, Kate, Sarah (visiting from out of town) and I didn't make it home till 10 pm that night.

But back to the advantage of living in Seattle. Right now I am sitting in my warm apartment, not in class, catching up on some relaxation and home work, all because of the mere threat of another snow storm. With a couple of weeks left in the semester, when the classes start to drag and assignments pile up, this wonderful snow day couldn't have come at a better time. So thank you Seattle for not having salt trucks; leaving us with lethal roads, long commutes, and blessed snow days.

Despair and Hope

Justice -- do you rulers know the meaning of the word? Do you judge the people fairly?
No! You plot injustice in your hearts. You spread violence throughout the land.
These wicked people are born sinners; even from birth they have lied and gone their own way. They spit venom like deadly snakes; they are like cobras that refuse to listen,
ignoring the tunes of the snake charmers, no matter how skillfully they play.
Break off their fangs, O God! Smash the jaws of these lions, O LORD!
May they disappear like water into thirsty ground. Make their weapons useless in their hands.

Psalm 58:1-7


"You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.

Matthew 5:38-39

"The distinguishing characteristic of absolute despair is silence. There is a world of difference between the person who, believing that there is no use, says so to himself or to no one, and the person who says it aloud to someone else. A person who marks his trail into despair remembers hope - and thus has hope, even if only a little." -Wendell Berry

The two closest people to me in my life have recently cried out in protest. (See www.krickard.blogspot.com and www.scottdarfur.blogspot.com) The question I am asking is, why do they continue to raise their voices with little assurance that it will actually change anything? What is the use? No one is going to listen, not for very long anyhow. Not because we do not care, we just know that there really is no reason to hope, nothing is going to change. We are up against too much.

But it is in true despair that one can truly begin to hope. What is it that my friends hope for? In one sense (and the sense that I am addressing in this blog, there are of course many more aspects to their hope) they are hoping against a living death. They are hoping that the person that they believe themselves to be, is in fact who they really are.

I love these two people because I cannot imagine the day when violence against the defenseless and the systemic oppression of women does not cause them to cry out in anger and sorrow. Their agony is so beautiful because it is marked with an unquenchable hope.

Real hope is so rare these days. Happiness and contentment are far more desirable. Hope will drive us mad and it will ravage and destroy us. Because ultimately it is insane to ask mountains to lie flat or to plead for deserts to fill with water. And in reality that is what Kate and Scott are asking for.

To Kate and Scott, I thank you for the marks that you have left into your trail of despair. They are guideposts to others who would wish to find hope.

I don't need your twenty dollar parking!

So Kate's job has come through with another bonus. Free tickets to the Seattle
Super Sonics tonight. Who knew people were still playing basketball after Michael Jordan retired? But anyway, what I am most anticipating about tonights game is the experiencing of walking to the game from my apartment. I just think that is fantastic. No bad traffic, no over priced parking, no being stuck in the parking lot for 6 hours after the game. Nothing but a 4 block walk for me, now thats good times.

On another note, there is a little football game going on tommorow. GO BLUE! I gotta admit though, I am a little nervous, but you never know what is going to happen when Michigan plays OSU.