The semester is over!

Well my first semester at Mars Hill has come to an end. These last months have been a blur. Kate and I moved into our apartment the day before school started and life has been in constant motion since then with school and work. But what a good semester it has been. A few notable events in the recent past:

Kate and I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner at our place. In total there were 15 of us in our little apartment. Everyone brought fantastic food. Kate and I felt so blessed by all the people who came. They have invited us into their community here in Uptown and made us feel so welcome.

MHGS celebrated its annual Christmas party at our new building in Belltown. Our time in Bothell is officially over! The new building is incredible. It is feet from the Puget Sound, it has panoramic views of the Olympic Mountains and Mt. Rainer. Yeah, it is nice. But anyway, the annual Christmas party always entails a dance party. I found it quite funny that I found myself sharing the dance floor with our school's Theology professor while Justin Timberlake's "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" is thumping from the speakers. Only at a Seminary like Mars Hill.

Also, a giant storm hit the area Thursday night. Kate and I lost power around 2 am Friday morning. We were fortunate though, our power came back on Friday afternoon around 3 pm. Thousands are still without power.

And yesterday, now that I have some free time I finally made it out into the wilderness. I took a a guy from work (along with his three dogs) and we hiked out to some water falls in the foothills of the Cascades. It was spectacular. It felt so good to get out of the city for a little and walk among the snow capped peaks.

Anyway, I am far too mentally spent to offer anything profound or thought provoking so you will just have to deal with this summary of events. Thanks for reading.

Snow Day!

One of the advantages of living is Seattle (if you are a student and you are already safely at home) is the city's completely lack of ability to deal with snow. Case in point: Monday night I was up in Bothell attending class, a snow storm hit while class was in session. It took me one hour and forty five minutes to travel the one mile between the off site class site to the main campus. It was insane! Class got out at 5:30, Kate, Sarah (visiting from out of town) and I didn't make it home till 10 pm that night.

But back to the advantage of living in Seattle. Right now I am sitting in my warm apartment, not in class, catching up on some relaxation and home work, all because of the mere threat of another snow storm. With a couple of weeks left in the semester, when the classes start to drag and assignments pile up, this wonderful snow day couldn't have come at a better time. So thank you Seattle for not having salt trucks; leaving us with lethal roads, long commutes, and blessed snow days.

Despair and Hope

Justice -- do you rulers know the meaning of the word? Do you judge the people fairly?
No! You plot injustice in your hearts. You spread violence throughout the land.
These wicked people are born sinners; even from birth they have lied and gone their own way. They spit venom like deadly snakes; they are like cobras that refuse to listen,
ignoring the tunes of the snake charmers, no matter how skillfully they play.
Break off their fangs, O God! Smash the jaws of these lions, O LORD!
May they disappear like water into thirsty ground. Make their weapons useless in their hands.

Psalm 58:1-7


"You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.

Matthew 5:38-39

"The distinguishing characteristic of absolute despair is silence. There is a world of difference between the person who, believing that there is no use, says so to himself or to no one, and the person who says it aloud to someone else. A person who marks his trail into despair remembers hope - and thus has hope, even if only a little." -Wendell Berry

The two closest people to me in my life have recently cried out in protest. (See www.krickard.blogspot.com and www.scottdarfur.blogspot.com) The question I am asking is, why do they continue to raise their voices with little assurance that it will actually change anything? What is the use? No one is going to listen, not for very long anyhow. Not because we do not care, we just know that there really is no reason to hope, nothing is going to change. We are up against too much.

But it is in true despair that one can truly begin to hope. What is it that my friends hope for? In one sense (and the sense that I am addressing in this blog, there are of course many more aspects to their hope) they are hoping against a living death. They are hoping that the person that they believe themselves to be, is in fact who they really are.

I love these two people because I cannot imagine the day when violence against the defenseless and the systemic oppression of women does not cause them to cry out in anger and sorrow. Their agony is so beautiful because it is marked with an unquenchable hope.

Real hope is so rare these days. Happiness and contentment are far more desirable. Hope will drive us mad and it will ravage and destroy us. Because ultimately it is insane to ask mountains to lie flat or to plead for deserts to fill with water. And in reality that is what Kate and Scott are asking for.

To Kate and Scott, I thank you for the marks that you have left into your trail of despair. They are guideposts to others who would wish to find hope.

I don't need your twenty dollar parking!

So Kate's job has come through with another bonus. Free tickets to the Seattle
Super Sonics tonight. Who knew people were still playing basketball after Michael Jordan retired? But anyway, what I am most anticipating about tonights game is the experiencing of walking to the game from my apartment. I just think that is fantastic. No bad traffic, no over priced parking, no being stuck in the parking lot for 6 hours after the game. Nothing but a 4 block walk for me, now thats good times.

On another note, there is a little football game going on tommorow. GO BLUE! I gotta admit though, I am a little nervous, but you never know what is going to happen when Michigan plays OSU.

Truth is Relational

Truth is Relational.
There is no truth outside of relationship.
God exists in relationship.
All things exist in God.
All things exist in relationship.
Truth is known and experienced and developed within relationship.
To know truth is be in relationship.
Deception is the evidence and casuse of broken relationship
One's ability to be in relationship with others determines one's ability to know/experience truth.
Everyone relates differently.
Everyone experiences relationships differently.
Everyone knows and experiences truth differently.

Absolute truth is being in relationship with all things.
God exists in relationship with all things.
For everything that exists, exists in God.

In our context truth is a word that conjures up ideas of boundaries, exclusion, friend and foe.
What if truth inspired possibility, creativity, relationality, unity expressed in diversity?
What if to be true, was to be open, to be inviting, to be humble?

Relationships are a context in which our deceptions are laid bare: hatred, mistrust, envy, lust, power, greed.
All of these deceptions are defined by how one relates to something.

Relationships are a context in which truth can be experienced: love, acceptance, patience, trust, humility, service.

A true person is one who can relate to all things with love, for that is how God relates to all things.

Only in Seattle

If you ever visit Seattle you quickly realize it has quite the thriving homeless population. It is a sad situation, and it break's your heart as you encounter these people and realize the amount of pain they have suffered in thier lives. But the unique thing about the people who have come upon hard times in Seattle is that they often have quite the sense of humor. This is seen in their creative signs they hold expressing their need for money. I thought I would share this one with you. It definately made me laugh.

Pike Place Market

Reds, yellows, greens, violets, blues fill the air. Faces of people unknown pass by. Fresh. Clouds clearing, sun peering. Fruit divine, flowers sublime. Wife smiling. Stop and look. Reach and taste. Wait and savor. Soup and bread. Coffee and chocolate. Sabbath rest. Life is good. Joy is real.

Sneak Attack thwarts Summit Attempt

This past weekend my mom, Linda was in town from Chicago. She of course was fleeing the torrential downpours of the soggy Midwest (I just don't know how people put up with the weather out there). It was a wonderful weekend of good meals and catching up. Sunday though we attempted to venture out into the wild, touch nature, commune with mother earth, see the world from the vantage point of the sleeping giants we call mountains (analogy stolen from Kate Rickard).

Our destination: Granite Mountain, 5629 ft above sea level. It was to be an eight mile round trip trek through the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. Old Mr. Granite was to afford us views of Rainier, Baker, Glacier, and Stuart. Our challenge was 3800 ft of incline.

May not be accurate representation of Granite Mountain.

We awoke early to beat the crowds, knowing Old Big Rock is shy in a crowd. The initial ascent reminded our legs of their days of slumber and relaxation. They soon relented though, and the blood of life began to flow ever so passionately through our veins. We soon came upon a fellow journeyer. She was on her descent. Inquisitive that I am, I questioned if she had seen El Granito's top so soon today. There was fear in her eyes as she quickly relayed the horrors that accompanied her isolated expedition on this day. Her words were fast and mumbled, almost incoherent. "Bees!!!" she finally screamed. Immediately she bolted from our presence, leaving us only with wonder and confusion at what might possibly lay ahead for us on our journey today.

I decided to take to the lead. The stench brewing that often accompanies my body would surelyrepel would be attackers looking for a sweet taste of goodness, possibly in the flavor of Peppermint Pear (or whatever concoction my feminine companions had applied to their bodies this morning).

Time passed on as our steps became many. We soon left the company of the pines and enter the higher land of brush and other brush like plants (possibly shrubs, I don't quite remember I might have been lost in the euphoric wonder of the terrain that was so quickly and seductively enveloping me). Had I so quickly forgotten? Or had I simply ignored the words of warning that had been sent to us?

It was then that I heard the most horrific, gut wrenching, cry of agony that I have ever beheld. It was as if the world at that moment stop moving. I turned round, and watched helplessly as the woman I love was brutally marred by nothing other than a Bee itself. "My eye!" Is all I could hear coming from her sweet tender lips, now tainted by the tortourus words of anguish.

Still unknown if Bee actually carries a sword

I looked for the perpetrator. I tore at the ground, revenge dripping from my pours. As quickly as he performed his haneous crime of injustice he was gone. Suddenly the clouds seemed darker, and the path seemed overrun with those damn shrubs! So we ran. We ran with all of our might down old Stony never to return.

We drove away, Granite peering over our shoulders, his eyes visible in the rearview. My wife, no longer coherent just mumbled "Bees, bees, bees, bees, bees.................................."

Upon request: Our favorite Uptowners!

Uptown, Seattle: Our Neighborhood

Our building

Thai, Vegetarian, Mediterranean

Seattle Center

Queen Anne Ave: the heart of Uptown

Uptown Espresso

Netflix

So I set up a Netflix account. Now all of us have experienced walking through Blockbuster looking at all the movies wishing we couuld remember the names of all the titles we at one time said "I need to rent that." But we can never remember so we end up renting something like the Wedding Planner. So anyway, to the point of this blog, please provide names of movie titles that are must sees, so that I can fill up my Netflix queue. Thanks for your help.

I thought it rained in Seattle?

So once again I have woken up to an absolutely perfect day in the Pacific Northwest. Not a cloud in the sky, temps in the 70's, and I can smell the ocean. Kate and I have been here for almost two months now and we could count the rainy days on one hand. This may all sound wonderful but it is starting to drive me nuts. This is because I no longer have any free time. I make coffee, I go to class, I do homework, and I sleep. And everyday that I wake up to an absolutely perfect day, I think to myself "Today would be a good day for a hike."

Kate spoke of ambivalence on her blog, well I'll give you ambivalence: beautiful weather, beautiful mountains, and no time to climb them.

My prayer for today: Rain please come. Cover the skys in darkness; erase my view of the beauty around me, so that I can spend long hours of my day sitting at this desk reading and writing, unencumbered by the strong desire to escape into the wild.

Sweet Success

Unplugged

Don't worry everyone, school has started and Kate and I are still alive. Unfortunately though we moved into an apartment where there are no unguarded wireless networks floating about for us to tap into, hence our long seperation from cyber-space. But yesterday it was my primary goal to solve that problem. Kate and I are no longer going to be "borrowing" our internet we are going to be proud owners of our very own wireless network. Our provider will be Qwest. The wireless modem was supposed to be delivered last Friday, but since we have yet to obain local phone numbers, we are not hooked up to the buzzer, so even though I left a polite note for the UPS guy to call my cell phone at the entrance of our apartment, he chose to simply leave a note that he had come and gone and will try again in the future. I suspected that future attempts to deliver my package would most likely be futile, so I would just pick the stupid thing up at the UPS delivery station. How hard could that be? So yesterday afternoon, after morning classes, I figured out the address of the UPS station: 4400 7th Ave S. Well I know were 7th Ave S is, and I know the bus to get me there (Kate has the car). I will just take the bus. Well after three buses, lunch with two homeless guys, countless blocks trekked, I made it to UPS. What can brown do for me? Well it can kiss my ... Anyway, more bus and more walking and I am at home, with my modem, soon to be a proud owner of internet access. Dum, dum, dum, you all know what is coming. 40 minutes on the phone with Francis (my guess is that he lives 7 time zones away, in Qwest's internation office in India), much cursing, and absolutely no internet access. So now Thursday a service man will come sometime between 1 and 5. And I ask myself "Why did't I pay the $85 and get the professional to come out and do it in the first place?"

Provision

I personally struggle with the idea of God providing for me in tangible ways. Difficult times in my life and the millions who go without everyday are more than enough evidence to question the idea that God provides for his children. With that said I can't help but notice God helping Kate and I in this time of transition.

For instance, Kate is no longer an employee of Starbucks (she never even made it to her first, I guess some just can't handle the coffee business), but rather she is working at a State Farm Insurance office two blocks from our apartment. She was hired last Monday (Better pay and hours). Tuesday she found out that she needed to fly down to Texas for her Grandpa's funeral. Her boss was ok with her starting when she came back. A huge relief for Kate, who could be in Texas and not have to worry about a job.

This job has already started to pay off. Today was her first day and she found out that with her job she (and I) will receive access to the building's gym and parking garage (which is a short walk from our apartment). A parking space in this area is at least a $75 dollar a month value, plus free gym access.

Meredith and Steve continue to be a blessing as well. They have introduced us to numerous people in the area. Counting them, there are 6 other couples in the area who are in similar situations as Kate and I.

I think like most people in my situation, I continue to have doubts about whither I am doing the right thing. Is this really the degree I want? Do I really want to go into debt to do this? I am cut out for this? Do I even want to be involved in ministry? Ect...

It helps immensely though when I sense God's hand providing for me. So today I will allow myself to believe that it is actually Him, and not just coincidence.

You thought I was joking when I said my tent would be used when we didn't have a home!

Niether Kate nor I had to work this weekend so we decided to go camping. We spent the first night close to the beach at Bay View State Park about an hour north of Seattle. It was ok, it was pretty loud and this one kid screamed for an hour straight.

But last night we found a beautiful campsite in North Cascades National Park on the Skagit River. A few things about NCNP: It is the snowiest place in the lower 48, it has the most glaciers in the US besides Alaska (around 300), and it was the least visited National Park in 2004. It is definately one of the most rugged wilderness areas in the lower 48. I can't wait till we can head out there with our backpacks.


Camping on the Skagit River in North Cascades National Park.

They have big trees in Washington, or maybe Kate is shrinking because of all the hippie organic food. How do they expect us to grow without injected hormones in our food?

Future hikes?

Golden Gardens Park, Seattle

A day in Seattle....

The Beach at Discovery Park, Magnolia, view of the Olympic Mountains


A Seal, Alki Beach, West Seattle


Seattle Center viewed from West Seattle


Mount Rainier viewed from Kerry Park, Queene Anne

Sleeping on a futon in Seattle

Night #2 in Butte, MT.

Well it is another day in Seattle with perfectly blue clear skies. I am now employed by Starbucks Coffee. Today is my first day. And Kate and I have found an apartment. The only set back is that it is not available until Sept. 1st. So we will be sleeping on Meredith and Steve's futon for most of this month, interspersed with with some nights camping and in hotels. We are thinking it will all be worth it once we get into our new place. We are really excited about the apartment. It was listed as a 1 bedroom but when we walked in we saw that it was a 1 bd+. There is an extra room off the living room that can be used as an office or a bedroom when people come to visit us. This was a huge because Kate and I love to have people into our home and we can't wait for you all to come visit us. Though I must warn you, Scott has already laid claim to the room, so you might have to ask his permission to stay there.

On another note, I can't tell you how much of a blessing Meredith and Steve have been to us. It is bizzare to have packed up everything and moved 2000 miles to a strange new place and be immediately welcomed with smiles and hugs from perfect strangers. They have made us feel so welcomed and cared for. The experience has made me so grateful to be a part of the body of Christ. Kate and I hope to pay this blessing forward to incoming students next year.

Rapid City, SD

Well after about 13+ hours of driving today Kate and I made it 900 miles to Rapid City, SD. It was quite nice to just sit in the car and relax. It was a crazy week packing up life and saying goodbye to everyone. Kate and I were just so blessed by our friends and family this week. They were generous to us in so many ways.

Next Stop: Butte, MT.

Moving!

Well right now I am in the process of moving to Seattle. You might be wondering "If you are in the process of moving, how do you have time to blog?" Good question! Well let me tell you about the beauty of paying someone to move your stuff for you. It is awesome! I am sitting here typing on my laptop as three burly young men move all of my stuff into a truck. I am not going to break a sweat today, my back will not ache, I won't curse underneath my breath. Just thought I would share that with everyone.

A week in the mountains...with 28 junior highers!

It is not too often you can spend a week with 28 junior highers and come home refreshed; but anything is possible when you are in the mountains. Kate and I took the youth group to Ravencrest Chalet in Estes Park, CO last week. We went rock climbing, caving, mountian biking and hiking. The weather was perfect, the views were spectacular and the kids did awesome. After a little over a year with this group Kate and I really saw fruit to the ministry. Numerous kids were responding to God in new ways. Thank you God for the Rocky Mountains.

The role of the church is to not be in charge...

I just finished reading the book Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond. Jared was in Papua New Guinea and a native man asked him this question: "Why is it that you white people developed so much cargo and brought it to New Guinea, but we black people had little cargo of our own?" This book attempts to answer that question specifically and broadly. By that I mean the question could be asked a hundred different ways. Why is Bolovia the poorest country in South America? Why is Sub-Sarahan Africa so poor? Why didn't China colonize the Americas? Why didn't Native Americans colonize Europe?

Through the book Diamond attempts to prove that the answers to those questions most often lie within the geography of a country rather than the people themselves. There is much more to be said about all that, but as I finished the book last night some things came to my mind about the role of the church in society.

This book reveals that the history of humankind is a story of people attaining advantages and then using those advantages to take over other people. The history of humankind has been a fight for survival. Often times religion has played the role of justifying one group's survival over another.

We see this in the history of Christianity: Constantine, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the persecution of Anabaptists by Lutherans, the exploration of the New World, and even today with the Moral Majority, the War on Terror, Evangelical lobbyists in Washington, our Christian President, the list goes on.

I have always struggled with the idea of the soveriegnty of God. Mainly because I find that many Christians use the idea to justify people spending an eternity in hell, or one groups "blessed" state of existence compared to the "cursed" state of others.

And then last night it hit me, to believe in the soveriegnty of God is to assume the role of not being in charge of the world. The rest of the world is fighting tooth and nail for survival. The role of the Christian is to entrust one's survival into the hands of God.

What are the outcomes of this posture:
1. A Christian cannot use the sword to enable their survival.
2. A Christian cannot assume roles of political power to enable their survival.
3. A Christian assumes the role of stranger or alien in any land that they inhabit.
-Thus abandoning any idea of a Christian nation
4. A Christian believes that Jesus is the Messiah, and it is his role to bring about a new heaven and a new earth.
5. A Christian is a suffering servant.
6. The Church is a minority group.
7. The Church is a fellowship of people who freely assume this role.

The Fat on My Belly....

My time in the western suburbs of Chicago is coming to an end. Looking down at my belly reminds me in many ways what a good year it has been. When you live close to family and friends one thing that is sure to come your way is big meals. And this year has been no exception. Now in general I am quite the skinny guy, and many of you probably think I am delirious to think that there is fat on my body, but believe me on this one, I have put on a few pounds around the mid-section. So I thought I would take a moment to reminisce about some of the great meals I have had this past year.

1. The Prague restaurant with Kate, Sarah, and Scott, celebrating the good news of my scholarship at Northern. Mouth watering, pleasure inducing steak and lots of good Czech beer.

2. The Park Grill with Kate on our one year anniversary. Again, an orgasmic piece of red meat, a couple of Blue Moons, a delightful glass of red wine, my beautiful wife beside me, and the Chicago Skyline in front of us.

3. Fajitas at the In-Laws. If you haven't had Cathy's Fajitas, you are haven't eaten fajitas.

4. Fried Green Tomatoes in Galena, IL with Kate, Mom, Brett and Lauren. Once again a beautiful steak and red wine. We also got dessert. I think it was Creme Bruele, but I remember I could barely walk out of the restaraunt.

4. Steaks at Quincy's in Leadville, Colorado with my Dad following our ascent of Snowmass Mountain (14k ft). After a week of pain on the trail, there is nothing like a big beautiful piece of cow to satisfy your cravings for protein.

5. Christmas Eve at Nineteen in St. Charles with Kate and my mom. Filet Mignon that melted in my mouth, and a big glass of red wine to wash it down.

6. Christmas Day at the In-laws. Cathy goes all out with the Beef Tenderloin. Oh my goodness was it good.

7. Dos Xious Amber and Nachos at Front Street Cocina. I am going to miss that place.

8. Every Monday night with our friends. Maybe we should change our name from Community Nite to Overeaters Anonymous! I love you guys, and I am going to miss our meals together.

Celebration is an incredible thing, and there is no better way to do it than with food and drink. I look forward to the day when all people every where sit down together and enjoy the feast that is to come.

On Creeds....

For several reasons I have been thinking about creeds lately. For example, pressure on the Emergent Church community to write a statement of faith, to my own church's decision to write a position paper on women in ministry, to my recent introduction to Anabaptism in my theology class at school (Anabaptists tend to be non-creedal). Even today my church began to corporately go through the Apostles Creed so as to clarify what all Christians have believed for all time.

So to get to the point, (I am guessing people will probably stop reading if they are forced to scroll down), I question what are creeds good for? To illustrate my point I will use my church as an example. Last Wednesday the elders held a town hall meeting to present their position paper on women in ministry. They have been working on the issue for a year now, and now came the time to let the congregation in on their decision. To make a long story short the elder's decision seemed to equally upset the complementarians and the egalitarians. The way that they read scripture is that there is obvious hiearchy in the Bible, but in the NT we can see an elevation of women's status and involvment in the church, therefore the church must uphold hiearchy, yet at they same time encourage significant female contribution in the church. Practically this will work out in women being encouraged to lead adult sunday school, small groups, and to participate in an elder advisory board. The position of elder and senior pastor will continue to be for men, furtermore, only men will be able to teach from the pulpit on Sunday mornings.

If you are familiar with the debate you can probably see why this decision would upset both groups: it seems really abritrary. One attendee (a complementarian) said "the only difference between men and women in this theology is 50 feet" (the distance from the pulpit and the adult sunday school classroom).

Anyway, back to the original intent of this post. What good is this position paper? Will it spur on further engagment of the issue or will it simply close the book? Will this position paper allow for the diversity of beliefs in the church to continue to exist? Is this position paper just another example of our constant need in the church to nail our beliefs down? Why must we constantly determine who is in and who is out?

To Own a Dragon

I'm reading Donald Miller's book To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father. In one of the chapters he reflects on a time when he was reading a book by Dwight D. Eisenhower. Eisenhower talked about how his parents raised him with this attitude: "That the world could be fixed of its problems if every child understood the necessity of their existence." Miller's childhood though caused him to assume the very opposite about his own existence: "I grew up believing that if I had never been born, things would be easier for the people I loved....Deep inside, I believed life was for other people-that joy was for others, and responsibility was for others...In life, there were people who were meant to live and people who were accidentally born, elected to plod the globe as the despised."

As someone who grew up in a broken home, a house where the dad was no longer there post age 14, these observations rung true. I find these words pertinent at this time especially because I am moving 2000 miles away to pursue a degree that prepares one for full-time ministry. Now many ministers feel like their existence is not only a necessity, but God's gift to the world. Quite the opposite for myself. My feeling is more often that my existence is not a necessity, someone else could very well do the job.

Droplet

Glenbard West, Glen Ellyn, IL, June 25th, 2006

Thirsty?

Glenbard West, Glen Ellyn, IL, June 25th, 2006

Grandpa in the Park

Naperville River Walk, June 22nd, 2006

Banquet

Everyone is in
No one will be left out
At the banquet we are promised

They say it will only be a few
Mostly people like you and me

Why? Why would it be that way?
Is there not enough room?
Will they run out of food?

They say the table is already set
The food is in the oven

I don't want to sit
And I don't want to eat
Give my place to someone else

Good bye

My best friend left town today. He will be missed greatly. I am so fortunate to have him in my life. Scott I wish you the best in Sudan.