To Own a Dragon

I'm reading Donald Miller's book To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father. In one of the chapters he reflects on a time when he was reading a book by Dwight D. Eisenhower. Eisenhower talked about how his parents raised him with this attitude: "That the world could be fixed of its problems if every child understood the necessity of their existence." Miller's childhood though caused him to assume the very opposite about his own existence: "I grew up believing that if I had never been born, things would be easier for the people I loved....Deep inside, I believed life was for other people-that joy was for others, and responsibility was for others...In life, there were people who were meant to live and people who were accidentally born, elected to plod the globe as the despised."

As someone who grew up in a broken home, a house where the dad was no longer there post age 14, these observations rung true. I find these words pertinent at this time especially because I am moving 2000 miles away to pursue a degree that prepares one for full-time ministry. Now many ministers feel like their existence is not only a necessity, but God's gift to the world. Quite the opposite for myself. My feeling is more often that my existence is not a necessity, someone else could very well do the job.