Sneak Attack thwarts Summit Attempt

This past weekend my mom, Linda was in town from Chicago. She of course was fleeing the torrential downpours of the soggy Midwest (I just don't know how people put up with the weather out there). It was a wonderful weekend of good meals and catching up. Sunday though we attempted to venture out into the wild, touch nature, commune with mother earth, see the world from the vantage point of the sleeping giants we call mountains (analogy stolen from Kate Rickard).

Our destination: Granite Mountain, 5629 ft above sea level. It was to be an eight mile round trip trek through the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. Old Mr. Granite was to afford us views of Rainier, Baker, Glacier, and Stuart. Our challenge was 3800 ft of incline.

May not be accurate representation of Granite Mountain.

We awoke early to beat the crowds, knowing Old Big Rock is shy in a crowd. The initial ascent reminded our legs of their days of slumber and relaxation. They soon relented though, and the blood of life began to flow ever so passionately through our veins. We soon came upon a fellow journeyer. She was on her descent. Inquisitive that I am, I questioned if she had seen El Granito's top so soon today. There was fear in her eyes as she quickly relayed the horrors that accompanied her isolated expedition on this day. Her words were fast and mumbled, almost incoherent. "Bees!!!" she finally screamed. Immediately she bolted from our presence, leaving us only with wonder and confusion at what might possibly lay ahead for us on our journey today.

I decided to take to the lead. The stench brewing that often accompanies my body would surelyrepel would be attackers looking for a sweet taste of goodness, possibly in the flavor of Peppermint Pear (or whatever concoction my feminine companions had applied to their bodies this morning).

Time passed on as our steps became many. We soon left the company of the pines and enter the higher land of brush and other brush like plants (possibly shrubs, I don't quite remember I might have been lost in the euphoric wonder of the terrain that was so quickly and seductively enveloping me). Had I so quickly forgotten? Or had I simply ignored the words of warning that had been sent to us?

It was then that I heard the most horrific, gut wrenching, cry of agony that I have ever beheld. It was as if the world at that moment stop moving. I turned round, and watched helplessly as the woman I love was brutally marred by nothing other than a Bee itself. "My eye!" Is all I could hear coming from her sweet tender lips, now tainted by the tortourus words of anguish.

Still unknown if Bee actually carries a sword

I looked for the perpetrator. I tore at the ground, revenge dripping from my pours. As quickly as he performed his haneous crime of injustice he was gone. Suddenly the clouds seemed darker, and the path seemed overrun with those damn shrubs! So we ran. We ran with all of our might down old Stony never to return.

We drove away, Granite peering over our shoulders, his eyes visible in the rearview. My wife, no longer coherent just mumbled "Bees, bees, bees, bees, bees.................................."